literature

you'll feel fine. | sugawara koushi

Deviation Actions

Published: Nov 6, 2014

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Literature Text

_{one.

Sugawara thinks you're the most beautiful person in the room. With eyes filled with roses and a smile brighter than a thousand burning suns. He knows that he's in love with you already—the rapid beating of his heart, and the way he longs to touch you was obvious enough for him. Sugawara sits down on his signed seat, quietly watching you talking to your friends from afar, a small smile etching on his lips. He knows that falling in love is a bad thing—he'll crumble apart. He knows that.

But he's in love with you, and he couldn't help that.

two.

He tells you that he loves you. Sugawara, of course, has been meaning to confess to you for some quite time. He even pondered for weeks and weeks if it was the right thing to do or not. But he knows that he can't hold his feelings in. He was never really good at that. And so, in one sunny Wednesday, he called for your name and confessed right away; his cheeks tinting the colours of red and pink. You stood there, eyes widened, unable to utter a word. After a few moments, you shifted in your spot uncomfortably, and began to speak, much to his delight.

"I'm sorry," you told him. "I don't feel the same way."

Just by then, his heart crumbles apart.

'I told you so,' His mind tells him. 'You never listen, do you?'

His mind had told him to forget about you and move on—but he couldn't. His heart longed for your affections, and he wished that he was there beside you to make you smile and laugh. He wished to call you his, but he knew that it wouldn't happen. It never will. But still, he continues loving you. He continues falling down in the dark void with nothingness. He continues falling deeply in love with you.

Because above all, the heart always wins.

three.

Sugawara sees you crying for the first time—you were hiding in the back of the school, your eyes filled with salty tears. He couldn't stand watching you sob in the top of your lungs in agony. And so, he walks up to you, not saying a word, and hugs you. It was the only thing he could do. Much to his surprise, you hugged him back, and your crying slowly started to tease. But tears were still coming out of your eyes.

"Thank you," You then whispered, bringing him closer to your body. "Thank you."

"It's okay," He says back.

Sugawara wonders how someone like you, who carried mountains on their shoulders, could crumble so easily.

But then he tells himself that even the strongest people crumble and fall down to their misery.

four.

He finds himself thinking about you in the middle of the night. There was nothing in his mind except you. Your laugh, your smile, your hair, your scent—everything about you. He tosses and turns in his bed, trying to get himself to sleep. After all, it was a school-day tomorrow. But he can't sleep. Whenever he closes his eyes, all that ever seems to pop in his mind is you.

'I'm so in love,' he mutters to himself. 'I'm pathetically in love with [Name].'

Being in love hurts, and it will tear you apart.

But Sugawara tells himself that he'll feel fine. Even though you had crushed his emotions with six simple words, he knows that everything will be alright. One day, he'll get used to the mud in his eyes, veins, and his lungs, and he'll feel fine. Everything is okay. Everything will be fine. Just not now. Just not today.

five.

"Are you okay?" You had asked him, upon seeing the small frown on his face.

"Yeah," He replies. He knew that he was lying to himself. "I'm okay. What about you?"

You didn't say anything back to him, though. There was something you were trying to tell him through your [e/c] eyes, but he couldn't quite decipher it. Sugawara could easily read the thoughts people had, but not you. Or maybe it was because he refused to know what you were thinking. You sat down quietly on your seat, turning your attention back on the white board whilst the teacher was giving a lecture. Sugawara wished that you would turn to look at him again and ask him if he was okay, but you didn't. Instead, you only gave him a few glances to see how he was doing.

Everything was not fine. But eventually, everything will be.

Everything will be fine. Just not now nor today. But someday.}